Fear of the unknown

I have faced quite a bit of fear in the past couple of weeks, but I have now seen the lightJ.

The first fear came from the word “cancer”.  Cancer in itself is a scary word, and has a very negative tone.  So when I recently learned that my loving and beautiful mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I got very scared.  As I’ve mentioned before, I work for a breast health company (developing and selling products dedicated to screening and diagnosing breast cancer)…but never did I think that breast cancer would become so personal for me.  At first we were all scared, but that quickly turned into calmness as we learned that my mom was very lucky to have caught it early!!  I can say that my juice combinations have come in quite handy right now as my mom is drinking quite a lot of juice with beets, peaches, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, carrots, and more!

Her health is now our primary focus, and of course her primary focus I still the family’s health, but I think now she’s going to start to take care of herself tooJ.  She is my biggest role model, and her strength through this has only strengthened her role as such in my eyes!

All while this was unfolding, I was starting to approach my erg tests for rowing.  Needless to say, I was not focused.  Fortunately I still have time to do them once I get back from training camp here in Georgia.  However, before I left, I sat down on the erg and warmed up for 10 minutes before attempting my 2km test.  After the warm up, I sat up, packed my things and went home.  With all the things going on around me, I thought I wasn’t ready for it.  But truthfully, it was just that I was scared.  I was afraid of the unknown and afraid of what I might end with (disappointment).  How can I be scared of the erg, especially when my mom is showing me just how strong she is…with cancer!

While here in Georgia I’ve done quite a bit of thinking, and yesterday while overlooking the beautiful lake, I had an “aha” moment:  It is important to take things one day at a time (or one stroke at a time in the case of rowing) and rather than fear the unknown, I need to be prepared to embrace the good that comes, and be ready to stay strong through the challenges that come. 

Although I am miles, and miles, and miles, and miles away from home, my positive energy and prayers are with my mom and family back home.  It is nice to hear that she is making delicious juices and meals for herself, without my having to be thereJ.

Since I’m away, I truly need to make the most of each day I’m here at training camp.  We are definitely doing that with 2 rows every day, a 12km run or walk, and lots of eating!  Today I did 3 x 2km at various rates, and well…all I have to say is that my winter training is coming in quite handyJ.  At stroke rate 26 I am rowing as fast as I did last year at stroke rate 30.  So rather than rushing to stroke rate 30…I’m going to take it one day at a time…

Have a great week!